She is in my trunk
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
