At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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