Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
