I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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