DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
being pregnant is like rehab
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
