I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dear god my vagina.
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