its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
