Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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