I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
