oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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