i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
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Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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