i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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