I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
