Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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