@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
