I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
