so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
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I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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