We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
