my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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