chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize
