i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
