Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize