Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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