You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
