you mean i was at the winter classic?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
