im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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