oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
