my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
