I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
