You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't make out with my wife yet
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize