Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
