The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
