i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
