He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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