yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.