it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.