Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  what do you have against ST

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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  (540): what do you have against ST (1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/zpvl
  Replies (11) Good night (3129) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

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  (352): So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated. http://tfl.nu/ef34
  Replies (12) Good night (2902) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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  (978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm? http://tfl.nu/7m7e
  Replies (22) Good night (1827) Bad night (3901) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.

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  (215): Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too. http://tfl.nu/we0x
  Replies (12) Good night (4694) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.

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  (417): She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round. http://tfl.nu/klhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV

  (802): View more from Vermont

  you're the only one i would trust to do that

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  (315): i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV (802): you're the only one i would trust to do that http://tfl.nu/yrsp
  Replies (8) Good night (2446) Bad night (715)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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  (561): So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world http://tfl.nu/2aj7
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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  (215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout
  Replies (11) Good night (1665) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

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  (719): I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/zd6h
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

  (1+61): View more from

  Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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  (+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (476)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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  (616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5
  Replies (23) Good night (2489) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
  Replies (9) Good night (1779) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.

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  (618): I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic. http://tfl.nu/2s9s
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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  (480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016
  Replies (9) Good night (1281) Bad night (211)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What is your life?

  (315): View more from New York

  A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.

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  (781): What is your life? (315): A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/196i
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (114)

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