but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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