i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize