u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
