I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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