Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
