He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
