Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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