Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up under a house in Key West
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