Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
