Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
