...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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