my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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