Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
