I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
