that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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