the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
