I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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