We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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