I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize