I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
