Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
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Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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