Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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