i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize