I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize