Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize