whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
