fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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