it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
