his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
