I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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