I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
